Wardrobe Complications

So, I always knew I'd need a separate wardrobe for pregnancy and with maternity clothes so cute these days, I was totally looking forward to that shopping spree. By my third trimester, I was, of course, sick to death of maternity wear, especially the pants that never stayed up and especially because the wardrobe consisted of so few choices, since I only bought a few things. At the end I told anyone who would listen how I couldn't wait to get back into my regular clothes.



So it was a major dissapointment to realize that, having gained 40 pounds, I was not going to fit right into my "regular clothes." I refused to buy more than two pairs of pants two tops. That combined with some super stretchy long t-shirts and an old pair of fat jeans lasted me all spring. Eventually, I began to shed the weight. I am now 12 pounds from my old weight and the baby is three months old. I swear, next time I will only gain 25 pounds, I absolutely swear -- no cheese doodles! I finally fit into my larger jeans and can just barely zip my smaller pair. But now I have a bigger problem. I suddenly realized I have only two pairs of jeans!



I know that might not seem like a huge problem. After all, I've had two pairs of jeans for years - a casual pair and a "Saturday night" pair. (I had that old pair of fat jeans, too, but they didn't count because I pretty much used them for painting in or cleaning the basement and chucked them as soon as my real casual pair zipped up.) It was never really a problem, but that was when I could only wear jeans in the evenings and on weekends. To work, I wore slacks and skirts. Now, suddenly, I find myself living in a jeans, t-shirt, and shorts kind of world. Mine is a world of sweat, spit up, and breast leaks. Every day the effluvia of my child find their way onto my clothes. Although I have never been a big clean freak, showers are now my favorite time of day. Whereas I used to wash my clothes after several wearings, now I often have to change several times a day.



I have to say, it was kind of a thrill to find myself in front of the graphic T shirt display at Old Navy, a location I always avoided in favor of the sweater set aisle. It made me feel young to dress like a teenager again. I can't even remember when sneakers and flip flops were my staple footwear. The last time I was out of work I still got "dressed" every day, but suddenly, I can barely manage to change my earrings every few days, let alone organize outfits. Plus, almost every day in the city means miles of walking and pushing a stroller. I had no idea that motherhood was so physical. The thing is, I spent my 20's contstantly trying to find a job that didn't put me behind a desk all day. I was miserable doing that unsuccessfully for 8 years. Now, it looks like I've finally found that job - only I don't get paid for it. It feels good to go to bed tired from a hard day's work, but not zombified by having stared at a computer screen for hours and hours.

But I do miss my wardrobe. I never get to wear my red, high heeled sandals. I sometimes stare at my closet and stroke my beaded evening camisoles. And I am still waiting to squeeze into the pencil skirt larry bought me the day after our wedding, the only week in my adult life that I weight less than 130 lbs.

There has to be a mix, right? A job that includes quiet work and physical activity, a life that includes work and family, a wardrobe that includes tank tops and kitten heels?